Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
• parent-child
• mother-father
• sibling-sibling
• grandparent-grandchild
• uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
• children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
• important for children to feel accepted for who they are
Our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
• security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
• self-worth (knowing they are of value - their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
• significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
Ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
• we model God’s parenthood of us
• parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
• children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
• how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
• the physical affection we show
• whether and how we resolve conflicts
• children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
• if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
• if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Question: Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
