• some people react like a rhino - when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
• some people react like a hedgehog - when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
• learning to control our anger
• Recognize the root of our anger
• HALT - ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
• displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
• deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
• press the pause button
• avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child's character
• avoid phrases like "You're so careless” or "You're so unkind”
• children can believe labels
• labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do" or "That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use "I" statements to express own feelings
• helps us to avoid labeling other people
• easier for them to respond constructively
• and make changes in their behavior
Question: Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
