Parenting Children - August 17, 2012

Day 5 – Experiencing & Observing Healthy Relationships

Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
•  parent-child
•  mother-father
•  sibling-sibling
•  grandparent-grandchild
•  uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. Experiencing: parent-child relationship
•  children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
•  important for children to feel accepted for who they are Our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
•  security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
•  self-worth (knowing they are of value - their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
•  significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make) Ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
•  we model God’s parenthood of us
•  parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him) Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
•  children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
•  how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
•  the physical affection we show
•  whether and how we resolve conflicts
•  children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
•  if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
•  if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)

Question:
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?

From Series: "Parenting Children Ages 0-10"

Study Guide

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We explore some common doubts about God’s existence, to see if there is reason to doubt our doubts.

The story we told last session spoke about life as a play, written and directed by God.

Our whole course will build on this illustration, and explore what it means for our lives.  But since it presupposes a director, God, we need to explore that idea.

It’s possible you are here today, and your belief in God is black or white.  Either:

  • You are completely certain that God exists, and not willing to question it
  • You are completely convinced that there is no God, and not willing to question that.

It’s much more likely that you’re somewhere along a spectrum between those two extremes!

  • Maybe some doubt
  • Maybe some hope
  • All mixed together.

And you might even change your mind from day to day.

But that’s not all there is to consider, because even if you believe God exists, we have to ask what kind of God?

Is God:

  • An angry God who strikes people down when they mess up?
  • An all-powerful God who is intimately involved in our world and individual lives?
  • An all-powerful God who created the world, but then left it to run on its own, and never intervenes?
  • A different sort of God, perhaps one who is inside of us, or is us?
  • Are we each our own Gods? Or is there only one God?
  • A nebulous spirit about whom we can know nothing?
  • Or is God different for everyone, more of a concept or idea than an actual being?

Whether we believe in God or not, or whatever kind of God we claim to believe in, or not, most of us come to those beliefs on a hunch.

We know what we think, and we look for ways to support it.

A friend once said – I know God doesn’t exist.  I asked how, and he answered that he once demanded, “God, if you’re out there, strike me down with a bolt of lightning, and I’ll know you exist”.

He’s still alive to tell the story, so he decided God didn’t exist.

This reminded me of a Simpsons episode where Homer prays a ridiculous prayer.

Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.

Whether you think God is an angry lightning bolt zapper, or if you just want God to stay out of your life and let you eat your cookies, you’ve started with an assumption about who God is, and if you go looking for that, you’re likely to find what you’re looking for.

The problem is, it won’t be God.

My friend asked – God, if you’re an angry people zapper, show me.  When nothing happened, all he proved was that God wasn’t an angry people zapper, not that God didn’t exist.

Here is a great quote from an author named Patrick Morley: “The turning point in our lives is when we stop seeking the God we want and start seeking the God who is.”

The trick is to put our prejudices aside, and simply ask God who he is, rather than asking ourselves what we think God might be, and trying to prove our theories.

Think about your image of God.  Where/how did you learn this?