We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.
7. Reflect back what they have said
• say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases
8. Respond appropriately
• give guidance and reassurance
• they are likely to remember our words for years to come
9. Take a long-term view
• sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
• difficulties are usually the result of a phase they're going through
• try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
• if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support
Question: Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
parent-child
mother-father
sibling-sibling
grandparent-grandchild
uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
important for children to feel accepted for who they are
our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
we model God’s parenthood of us
parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
the physical affection we show
whether and how we resolve conflicts
children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
