Nurturing involves seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs for affection, encouragement, support, comfort, etc,
• we all have a longing to be loved and to be known by another
• empty space inside that needs to be filled up with love
• when empty, we feel alone or lonely giving each other emotional support refills the empty space inside
• we are made for close relationships
How to nurture
Be proactive rather than reactive:
• being reactive means focusing on each others shortcomings
• being proactive means focusing on each other’s needs
• proactive behavior draws couples together because each one feels loved; when we feel loved, we feel like loving
Study each other:
• recognize each other’s needs
• often our partner’s needs and desires will be different to our own
• discover what matters to your husband or wife. otherwise we tend to give what we like to receive.
• needs change over time
• make requests, not demands
• we can't assume our husband or wife automatically knows our desires. We must tell each other.
Question:Complete the worksheet under "Extras -> Study Guide"
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
parent-child
mother-father
sibling-sibling
grandparent-grandchild
uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
important for children to feel accepted for who they are
our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
we model God’s parenthood of us
parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
the physical affection we show
whether and how we resolve conflicts
children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
