• having a vision for our familu life
• pausing to think about what we want to achieve
• what will our children’s memories be of us and their home in twenty years, time?
Goals for our family life - When they are adults, will our children associate their upbringing with:
• having fun together as a family?
• being listened to?
• being able to talk through difficult choices?
• being encouraged and affirmed?
• being valued for their unique personality and gifts?
• knowing they are loved?
• learning important values of honesty, generosity, etc.?
• learning to think about others?
• being prayed for?
• having clear boundaries for their own protection?
• seeing kindness modeled?
The importance of play
• using their imagination
• learning skills
• playing on their own
• playing with others
• indoor and outdoor play
• limiting screen time
Question: Did you have fun with your family growing up? When do you have the most fun together as a family now?
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
parent-child
mother-father
sibling-sibling
grandparent-grandchild
uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
important for children to feel accepted for who they are
our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
we model God’s parenthood of us
parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
the physical affection we show
whether and how we resolve conflicts
children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
