2. Our home environment
• make your home a place that your children want to come back to, where:
• they are free to be individuals not in a straightjacket of conformity
• there are boundaries but not legalism
• there is discipline but not authoritarianism
• there is more encouragement than criticism
• there is plenty of fun and laughter
• there is more gratitude than complaining and blaming
• there are apologies and forgiveness and the opportunity for fresh starts
• faith is more easily caught than taught
o children initially form their picture of God from the way their parents treat them show unconditional love
3. Involving other people
• the wider family
• other role models
4. Passing on our values about money
• pressures on children and parents from advertising and the celebrity culture
• give them choices with money - choosing how much to save, spend, and give away
• teach generosity, good management, and honesty
• help them learn the value of experiencing delayed gratification
• model a healthy attitude towards possessions
Children learn to relate through experiencing, observing, and practicing various relationships within the family:
parent-child
mother-father
sibling-sibling
grandparent-grandchild
uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Experiencing: parent-child relationship
children learn to love through experiencing their parents. unconditional love
important for children to feel accepted for who they are
our love and acceptance give our children confidence through building in them:
security (knowing they are loved not for what they do, but for who they are)
self-worth (knowing they are of value – their self-worth is based on what they think we, their parents, think of them)
significance (knowing there is a purpose to their lives, and that they have a worthwhile contribution to make)
ultimately security, self-worth and Significance come from God
we model God’s parenthood of us
parents are in loco dei (in His place to represent Him)
Observing: mother-father (and other adult) relationships
children learn to relate through observing adult relationships
how we, their parents, speak and listen to each other
the physical affection we show
whether and how we resolve conflicts
children need to see firsthand the modeling of an intimate, committed adult relationship
if parenting together, consider doing The Marriage Course to invest in your relationship
if not parenting together, work at having thebest possible relationship with your child’s other parent (resolving conflict, forgiveness, consistency, etc.)
Where is your child learning most about how to build healthy relationships?
