2. Our home environment
• make your home a place that your children want to come back to, where:
• they are free to be individuals not in a straightjacket of conformity
• there are boundaries but not legalism
• there is discipline but not authoritarianism
• there is more encouragement than criticism
• there is plenty of fun and laughter
• there is more gratitude than complaining and blaming
• there are apologies and forgiveness and the opportunity for fresh starts
• faith is more easily caught than taught
o children initially form their picture of God from the way their parents treat them show unconditional love
3. Involving other people
• the wider family
• other role models
4. Passing on our values about money
• pressures on children and parents from advertising and the celebrity culture
• give them choices with money - choosing how much to save, spend, and give away
• teach generosity, good management, and honesty
• help them learn the value of experiencing delayed gratification
• model a healthy attitude towards possessions
some people react like a rhino – when angry, they go on the attack and express their feelings aggressively
some people react like a hedgehog – when angry, they protect themselves and bury their feelings
learning to control our anger
1. Recognize the root of our anger
HALT – ask: Am I Hungry, Anxious, Lonely or Tired?
displaced anger: buried anger caused by someone in the past can come out in the present against someone else
deal with unresolved hurt from the past through forgiveness
2. Take time out to calm down
press the pause button
avoid jumping to conclusions
3. Label the action not the child’s character
avoid phrases like “You’re so careless” or “You’re so unkind”
children can believe labels
labeling the action helps them to change, e.g.; That was a careless thing to do” or “That was an unkind remark to make”
4. Use “I” statements to express own feelings
helps us to avoid labeling other people
easier for them to respond constructively
and make changes in their behavior
Do you tend to react more like a rhino or a hedgehog? What helps you express your anger effectively? How do your children tend to react? What helps them?
