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CloseMarriage Course - September 20, 2012
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt
Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife
If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger
Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis
God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely
Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her
This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt
Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.
Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.
Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"
Related Topics: Forgiveness, Marriage, Prayer | More Messages from Marriage Course | Download Audio
From Series: "Marriage"
More Messages From Marriage Course...
Day 1 - Introduction | Marriage Course | August 17, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 2 - Introduction Part II | Marriage Course | August 18, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 3 - The First and Second Seasons of Marriage - Spring and Summer | Marriage Course | August 19, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 4 - The Third and Fourth Seasons of Marriage - Autumn and Winter | Marriage Course | August 20, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 5 - Building Strong Foundations | Marriage Course | August 21, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 6 - Make Time for Each Other - Planning Marriage Time | Marriage Course | August 22, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 7 - Make Marriage Time a Priority and Protect It | Marriage Course | August 23, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 8 - Nurture Each Other | Marriage Course | August 24, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 9 - The Art of Communication | Marriage Course | August 25, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 10 - Effective Communication | Marriage Course | August 26, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 11 - The importance of listening | Marriage Course | August 27, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 12 - Hindrances to Listening - Filters | Marriage Course | August 29, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 13 - Hindrances to Listening - Bad Habits | Marriage Course | August 30, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 14 - Practicing Effective Listening | Marriage Course | August 31, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 15 - Principles for Effective Listening | Marriage Course | September 1, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 16 - An Example of Effective Listening | Marriage Course | September 2, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 17 - Effective Listening Summary | Marriage Course | September 3, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 18 - Conflict Resolution | Marriage Course | September 4, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 19 - Express our Appreciation | Marriage Course | September 5, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 20 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part I | Marriage Course | September 6, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 21 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part II | Marriage Course | September 7, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 22 - Learn to Negotiate - Find the Best Time | Marriage Course | September 8, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 23 - Learn to Negotiate - Identify and Discuss the Issue | Marriage Course | September 9, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 24 - Learn to Negotiate - Final Steps | Marriage Course | September 10, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 25 - Putting Negotiation into Action and Grow Together | Marriage Course | September 11, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 26 - The Importance of Shared Faith | Marriage Course | September 12, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 27 - The Power of Forgiveness | Marriage Course | September 13, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 28 - Understanding Anger | Marriage Course | September 14, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 29 - Handling Anger | Marriage Course | September 15, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 30 - The Healing Process | Marriage Course | September 16, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 31 - The Healing Process - Identify The Hurt | Marriage Course | September 17, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 32 - The Healing Process - Say Sorry | Marriage Course | September 18, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 33 - The Healing Process - Forgive | Marriage Course | September 19, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not | Marriage Course | September 20, 2012 | Watch | Listen |
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- take responsibility
- resist the urge to make excuses or to blame your partner
- confess to God and receive forgiveness
- enables us to see the effect of our actions
- opens the way for reconciliation and healing
Do you find it easy, or hard to apologize? Why?