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CloseMarriage Course - September 20, 2012
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt
Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife
If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger
Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis
God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely
Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her
This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt
Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.
Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.
Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"
Related Topics: Forgiveness, Marriage, Prayer | More Messages from Marriage Course | Download Audio
From Series: "Marriage"
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Day 20 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part I | Marriage Course | September 6, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 21 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part II | Marriage Course | September 7, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
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Day 29 - Handling Anger | Marriage Course | September 15, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 30 - The Healing Process | Marriage Course | September 16, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 31 - The Healing Process - Identify The Hurt | Marriage Course | September 17, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 32 - The Healing Process - Say Sorry | Marriage Course | September 18, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 33 - The Healing Process - Forgive | Marriage Course | September 19, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not | Marriage Course | September 20, 2012 | Watch | Listen |
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- take responsibility
- resist the urge to make excuses or to blame your partner
- confess to God and receive forgiveness
- enables us to see the effect of our actions
- opens the way for reconciliation and healing
Do you find it easy, or hard to apologize? Why?