Nurturing involves seeking to meet each other’s emotional needs for affection, encouragement, support, comfort, etc,
• we all have a longing to be loved and to be known by another
• empty space inside that needs to be filled up with love
• when empty, we feel alone or lonely giving each other emotional support refills the empty space inside
• we are made for close relationships
How to nurture
Be proactive rather than reactive:
• being reactive means focusing on each others shortcomings
• being proactive means focusing on each other’s needs
• proactive behavior draws couples together because each one feels loved; when we feel loved, we feel like loving
Study each other:
• recognize each other’s needs
• often our partner’s needs and desires will be different to our own
• discover what matters to your husband or wife. otherwise we tend to give what we like to receive.
• needs change over time
• make requests, not demands
• we can't assume our husband or wife automatically knows our desires. We must tell each other.
Question:Complete the worksheet under "Extras -> Study Guide"
When we expect our partner to meet all our needs, We inevitably fail each other and get hurt, causing our marriage to spiral downward.
When we look to God to meet our needs for significance, security, and self-esteem, we are better able to give to each other.
See the diagram on the right.
Praying Together
helps us connect with each other in a meaningful way
ensure prayers are vertical, not horizontal and manipulative
five to ten minutes a dad is better than one hour every month
ask each other, What can I pray for you today?”
accept the same requests day after day
draw on God’s promises from the Bible and start with thankfulness
don’t give up even if you have young children
the closer each of us is individually in our relationship with God, the closer we are to each other as husband and wife
if one has upset the other, say sorry before praying
be deliberate and plan it into your schedule
if you’re not comfortable praying, find other ways to connect and support each other on a daily basis
Ask your husband or wife if there’s one thinq they’re concerned about at the moment. Then if you are comfortable prayinq, pray for each other. Otherwise, express your support in some other way.
