Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt
Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife
If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger
Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis
God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely
Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her
This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt
Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.
Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.
Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"
When we expect our partner to meet all our needs, We inevitably fail each other and get hurt, causing our marriage to spiral downward.
When we look to God to meet our needs for significance, security, and self-esteem, we are better able to give to each other.
See the diagram on the right.
Praying Together
helps us connect with each other in a meaningful way
ensure prayers are vertical, not horizontal and manipulative
five to ten minutes a dad is better than one hour every month
ask each other, What can I pray for you today?”
accept the same requests day after day
draw on God’s promises from the Bible and start with thankfulness
don’t give up even if you have young children
the closer each of us is individually in our relationship with God, the closer we are to each other as husband and wife
if one has upset the other, say sorry before praying
be deliberate and plan it into your schedule
if you’re not comfortable praying, find other ways to connect and support each other on a daily basis
Ask your husband or wife if there’s one thinq they’re concerned about at the moment. Then if you are comfortable prayinq, pray for each other. Otherwise, express your support in some other way.
