Parenting Teens - September 4, 2012

Day 19 - Effective Communications Strategies Part I

We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.

2. Learn to listen
• treat them like young adults (not children) • Listen carefully to their views and feelings

Effective communication requires that parents o learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) o engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You're too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention • don't try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time • maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

Question:
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?

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From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

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We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said

  • say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases

8. Respond appropriately

  • give guidance and reassurance
  • they are likely to remember our words for years to come

9. Take a long-term view

  • sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
  • difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
  • try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
  • if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support

Role play with another adult.  Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said.  Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch.  What was easy or hard about this?