Parenting teenagers involves gradually letting out the boundaries and giving increased freedom and responsibility. We compare different parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, indulgent and authoritative) and show how a combination of warmth and firmness (authoritative parenting) is the most beneficial to a teenager’s healthy development.
Adapting our approach
• Communication not always easy through the teenage years
• learning curve for most parents
• adults and teenagers tend to communicate in different ways
See attached file for some differences!
• if we allow them to tell us what they find difficult about how we communicate with them, they are more likely to listen to us when we need to tell them what we find difficult about how they communicate with us
• understand that sometimes teenagers like to be contrary. (If we get heavy and intense they will probably react strongly just to give us a hard time)
• give them space. Respect their privacy.
• don't try to control every aspect of their lives.
• don't expect them to tell you everything
Question: How easy or difficult is it for you to communicate with your teenager(s) currently?
We look at the role of reflecting back, responding appropriately and taking a long-term view in healthy communications.7. Reflect back what they have said
say back to them what you think they are trying to express, particularly their feelings use some of their own words and phrases
8. Respond appropriately
give guidance and reassurance
they are likely to remember our words for years to come
9. Take a long-term view
sometimes any meaningful communicationwith teenagers can be a big struggle
difficulties are usually the result of a phase they’re going through
try to create the conditions for conversation to become easier, at mealtimes; spending time with them doing what they enjoy; using their love language
if worried, seek professional help and/or medical support
Role play with another adult. Have them share a typical teenage problem with you, and reflect back what they’ve said. Go back and forth for a few minutes, then switch. What was easy or hard about this?
