Marriage Course - September 11, 2012

Day 25 - Putting Negotiation into Action and Grow Together

• we're not incompatible unless we refuse to change
• we can change ourselves; we cannot change each other
• we can only change when we know what matters to each other
• we must tell each other what frustrates and hurts us
• much conflict arises from our different assumptions about the way things should be
• important to be aware of our own and each other’s values (often learned during our upbringing)
• requesting change is helpful; demanding change is harmful

Question:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"

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Why is some conflict inevitable in every marriage?

  • we are different-different backgrounds, priorities, desires, personalities, opinions
  • no good trying to force our partner to do things our way
  • must see ourselves as being on the same side (3-legged race)
  • we are naturally self-centered
  • need to ask ourselves, “Are there ways I need to change for the sake of our partnership?”

Does the inevitability of conflict in marriage surprise you?  Why?  How does it challenge or affirm your approach to conflict?