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CloseMarriage Course - September 20, 2012
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
Forgiveness IS NOT
• demanding a person changes before we forgive them
• pretending it doesn't matter and trying to forget about it
• thinking time alone will heal the hurt
Forgiveness IS
• facing the wrong done to us
• recognizing the emotions inside
• releasing the other person into God's hands, leaving the consequences to Him
• choosing not to hold it against our husband or wife
If we do not forgive we'll be the one imprisoned by the bitterness, resentment, and anger
Forgiveness is a process-we often need to keep forgiving for the same hurt-sometimes on a daily basis
God forgives us freely and therefore we must forgive each other freely
Start Again Together:
• begin each day with a fresh start and no backlog-tear off each page of the notebook
• don't expect healing to be instant-apology and forgiveness remove the distance between us but the hurt leaves a bruising that needs time to heal
• re-build trust by setting aside marriage time, and being gentle and kind towards each other
• pray for one another-pray aloud or silently, asking God to heal your partner of the hurt you have caused him or her
This process is like a drain that carries away the hurt
Confession to God and those we hurt, together with forgiving those who have hurt us, must become a daily habit if intimacy is to be maintained. Otherwise the drain begins to block up with unresolved hurt and anger.
Question:Ask your husband or wife to tell you one way that you can support them this week. If you feel comfortable, pray for each other – aloud or silently. Otherwise express your support in some other way.
Question 2:Complete the Worksheet found under "Study Guide"
Related Topics: Forgiveness, Marriage, Prayer | More Messages from Marriage Course | Download Audio
From Series: "Marriage"
More Messages From Marriage Course...
Day 1 - Introduction | Marriage Course | August 17, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 2 - Introduction Part II | Marriage Course | August 18, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 3 - The First and Second Seasons of Marriage - Spring and Summer | Marriage Course | August 19, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 4 - The Third and Fourth Seasons of Marriage - Autumn and Winter | Marriage Course | August 20, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 5 - Building Strong Foundations | Marriage Course | August 21, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 6 - Make Time for Each Other - Planning Marriage Time | Marriage Course | August 22, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 7 - Make Marriage Time a Priority and Protect It | Marriage Course | August 23, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 8 - Nurture Each Other | Marriage Course | August 24, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 9 - The Art of Communication | Marriage Course | August 25, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 10 - Effective Communication | Marriage Course | August 26, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 11 - The importance of listening | Marriage Course | August 27, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 12 - Hindrances to Listening - Filters | Marriage Course | August 29, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 13 - Hindrances to Listening - Bad Habits | Marriage Course | August 30, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 14 - Practicing Effective Listening | Marriage Course | August 31, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 15 - Principles for Effective Listening | Marriage Course | September 1, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 16 - An Example of Effective Listening | Marriage Course | September 2, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 17 - Effective Listening Summary | Marriage Course | September 3, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 18 - Conflict Resolution | Marriage Course | September 4, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 19 - Express our Appreciation | Marriage Course | September 5, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 20 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part I | Marriage Course | September 6, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 21 - Identify and Accept our Differences Part II | Marriage Course | September 7, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 22 - Learn to Negotiate - Find the Best Time | Marriage Course | September 8, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 23 - Learn to Negotiate - Identify and Discuss the Issue | Marriage Course | September 9, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 24 - Learn to Negotiate - Final Steps | Marriage Course | September 10, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 25 - Putting Negotiation into Action and Grow Together | Marriage Course | September 11, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 26 - The Importance of Shared Faith | Marriage Course | September 12, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 27 - The Power of Forgiveness | Marriage Course | September 13, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 28 - Understanding Anger | Marriage Course | September 14, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 29 - Handling Anger | Marriage Course | September 15, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 30 - The Healing Process | Marriage Course | September 16, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 31 - The Healing Process - Identify The Hurt | Marriage Course | September 17, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 32 - The Healing Process - Say Sorry | Marriage Course | September 18, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 33 - The Healing Process - Forgive | Marriage Course | September 19, 2012 | Watch | Listen | |
Day 34 - What Forgiveness Is and Is Not | Marriage Course | September 20, 2012 | Watch | Listen |
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We give an opportunity to practice effective listening.
Take turns spending one minute telling your husband or wife about a happy memory of something that happened to you before you met. The listener should then summarize what they have heard, taking particular care to describe their partners feelings. This will show that they have been listening and empathizing with what their partner felt.