Parenting Teens - September 4, 2012

Day 19 - Effective Communications Strategies Part I

We look at the role of listening and attention-giving in effective communications.

2. Learn to listen
• treat them like young adults (not children) • Listen carefully to their views and feelings

Effective communication requires that parents o learn to speak with their teenager rather than at their teenager (Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers) o engage in discussion and be prepared to debate the issues rather than repeating Simplistic slogans such as “You're too young to have a boyfriend” or “drugs are dangerous”

3. Give your full attention • recognize the important moments to listen and give your full attention • don't try to listen to your teenager while doing something else at the same time • maintain eye contact; observe your teenager’s body language

Question:
When have you had your best conversations with your teenager?

From Series: "Parenting Teenagers"

Study Guide

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Speaking affirming words is one of the five love languages.

  • the words we speak to our teenagers can stay with them for the rest of their lives
  • tell them of your love and pride in them affirm them (not just when they please you; not just for their achievements)
  • affirm their looks
  • aim at five positive comments for every one negative comment
  • find things for which to praise them
  • loving words build confidence and affect their attitudes
  • loving words can be spoken and written

Which of the five expressions of love do you find hardest to show to your children?