Every family has routines and values, and these are closely connected. Take suburban family life as an example. On the surface, we can see routines: wake, eat, drop-off at daycare/school, commute to work, work, commute home, pickup kids, make and eat dinner, get everyone to bed, and repeat.
But we have to ask what values are behind that. Why do families move to the suburbs? There are choices, you could live in country, or the city. Why here?
For some, it’s where they grew up. Others want to be close to parents, or want their kids to have a yard of a certain size, or to be near nature.
Whatever the values, we chose the routine because of those values.
Yesterday, we saw Jesus shake up his family routine because he was pursuing a higher value. He called it the will of his Father in heaven. We have called these kingdom values, and it can be distilled down to loving God, and loving neighbour.
Jesus is challenging the extended family norms of his day, and replacing them with a new one. A new kind of family. With this new family will come new routines, all because of those founding values.
The other direction works, too.
We are trying to instill some routines in my family like saying a prayer before a meal (grace), asking our son the best and worst part of day, so we can say thanks to God in prayer, and ask for help or say sorry for the low parts of the day. We also read a Bible story and say a prayer at bed. We do this in hopes that our son will learn some values from those routines.
Let’s start simple, and look just at what it means to love God, and love neighbour.
Question: Based on the values of love God, love neighbour, what do you think Jesus’ family routines would be like? What could your immediate family’s routines look like?
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You’ve probably heard the saying, “forgive and forget,” but forgiveness is not slavishly forgetting wrongs, that would simply allow many to be victimized again. It’s also not about demanding someone change before we forgive them. It’s not just thinking that time will heal everything. It’s actively releasing someone into God’s hands, and allowing him to determine punishment or forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It names the hurt, acknowledges it happened, and that it was wrong. And then it’s a gift we give the other person, by releasing them from our feeble attempts to be God and judge over them. It’s about loving our enemies, recognizing them as a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness. Jesus was about forgiveness, and forgiving others allows us to be living examples of his forgiveness.
This is why it’s such a big sign of discipleship – almost formulaic. The message of God’s forgiveness needs to be talked about, but also needs to be lived out. The best sign that we have experienced God’s forgiveness is that we start spreading it around.
One journalist wrote, "I think the most powerful demonstration of the depth of Amish forgiveness was when members of the Amish community went to the killer's burial service at the cemetery," Kraybill says. "Several families, Amish families who had buried their own daughters just the day before were in attendance and they hugged the widow, and hugged other members of the killer's family."
Imagine the release for that family. The guilt they experienced, their last name tarnished, so on. The community’s forgiveness meant they were now freed for new beginnings.
Tomorrow, we see how forgiveness is also about releasing you, the one doing the forgiving.
Question: Have you ever been forgiven? What did it release you to do?
