It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?
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When did you first hear about life coaches? I hear about them all the time, but it’s a relatively new phenomenon.
I had a terrible time finding its origins. A Google search reveals mostly ads. Searching through Huffington Post reveals article after article written by life coaches, but nothing about what that means. A search on Maclean’s, a reputable news source reveals mostly quotes from interviews with life coaches, and only two articles about the idea, including one about 25 year olds coaching each other through their “quarter life crisis”. This is when Millenials hit the workforce and find it’s not all they’d hoped for, and a lot of hard work.
Some have decided to share these ideas with others for up to $70 an hour by becoming life coaches. In fact, a friend suddenly announced she was quitting her job and going to be a life coach. She tooks osme courses, but many don’t. More and more people taking on the title – pastors, bloggers, etc. as they find it’s something people want.
The profession is not regulated – so anyone with advice to offer, good or bad, can call themselves a life coach, and if you’re willing to pay them, you can put your career and life in their hands.
We do all need help – I meet with a mentor regularly, maybe you do too. We need doctors, psychologists, home inspectors, investment advisors, and so on. We need good advice.
So how do you tell the difference? How do you know when you’re getting good guidance on your life’s mission? We regularly find that our little missions in life – to buy a house, to get a job, to be happy at work, etc. could benefit from some guidance.
But we should be especially careful about the big mission – the reason God put you on this earth in the first place. That’s not one to take lightly.
That’s what we’ll talk about this week – as Jesus’ followers were given a mission, and they weren’t going to be alone in doing it, they’d have the ultimate guide.
Question: Who would be your ideal coach or guide in life? What could they do, say for you?
