It seems like every sitcom shares a feature: friends just come and go, they seldom knock or call first. Think of Friends – the characters simply came and went. You might think Seinfeld was an exception, with George and Elaine buzzing from the lobby, but don’t forget how Jerry’s neighbour Kramer just tumbles in the door. I’m sure to some degree this is about writing a good script – you can’t have a lot of down time waiting for people to answer the doorbell. But it also communicates something about the depth of their friendship.
Some researchers say these kinds of friends have what’s called refrigerator rights. The term comes from a book of the same name, but you may have heard it in pop culture, too. It defines a close relationship, where even though they don’t live there, a friend is able to come and go at will, and even eat from the other’s fridge without asking. It’s a high level of friendship.
For some people, maybe that seems natural enough. You grew up with it, perhaps. But for others, it bothers you. You might think it’s awkward, too intimate, or too trusting. You might ask, “What if I needed those leftovers for lunch tomorrow? What if that dessert was for a party? What if you come in my house while I’m in the shower, sleeping, or arguing with my spouse?”
The lines between family and friend are starting to blur in that kind of relationship. That’s the shift we’re going to explore this week in our pursuit of becoming great neighbours. We’ll look at the relationships with our neighbours that go deepest – where we become like family, with a focused, high level of friendship.
Question: How do you react to people having “refrigerator rights” in your house? Would you love more relationships that close, or are you a bit nervous?
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Jesus’ second illustration about priorities in life. Said it with a confusing saying that needs to be explained for people in our day:
“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! (Matthew 6:22-23 ESV)
When we ask what’s in someone’s heart, is the answer blood? No, the heart stands for something else – the core of their being. In Jesus’ culture, the eye was often used in the same way.
Someone with a good eye was someone generous. Someone with a bad eye = miserly.
Jesus is saying those who are generous are like those who can see where they are going, and those who are selfish are like the blind.
That’s why he says the eye is a lamp, or window, into the body. It’s a small thing, but its functionality changes everything. For sighted people, eyes are the guide for just about every task. We don't do much by touch unless we have to. But blind people learn to do everything differently. I’m always fascinated by how blind people get around – it takes an entirely different skillset from the way I move. And the difference all comes down to that little eye.
In this illustration, our “eye” or “heart” represents our priorities, ambitions, hopes and dreams. And like an eye, they affect everything. If our priorities are right, they affect how we handle everything else. If our priorities are wrong, then everything is in disarray, with competing priorities constantly battling each other.
Sailing - aim the bow where you want to go. Aim it at Christ’s character – the one who was generous, sacrificial because he was resolute in his priorities, God’s kingdom breaking into our world.
He was heavenly minded – but did a tremendous amount of worldly good.
Investing in developing a Christlike character as our priority is the one safe investment, because is something we can take with us. As we accept him as saviour and submit to him as Lord, he transforms us through his Holy Spirit, into his likeness. Makes us acceptable to the Father. So we can join him, in his presence, heaven.
Question: When you see someone who has what you desire how to do feel personally? What do you think of them? How does greed blind us to our true state? How does generosity free us from the grip of materialism and self-centeredness?
