Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck. He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners. Today we’ll go one step further. We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.
When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular. We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with. One day, he invited me to supper. I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values. The next shift we had together was different. I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves. Debriefing the call afterwards was easier. I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.
This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:
50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work. (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)
People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%). A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia
In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.
We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with. Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.
We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.
Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?
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I overhead some people on a first date talking about what’s important in life. I remember answering questions like that – listing your priorities as a good way to learn about someone.
There’s a standard formula. If you’re a Christian, have to start with God. Then you’re supposed to say something about people: family, friends, loved ones. Then finally material things – jobs, posessions, etc.
But are they true? Or are we trying to say the right things to impress someone – show that we’re a good date, good Christian, good person?
They make for inspiring stories - take the Office two weeks ago: Jim has stepped back from a business he’s started to mend his marriage and work at his old job with Dunder Mifflin. David Wallace, the CEO of Dunder Mifflin, says “Most of the guys I know wouldn’t rearrange their golf schedule to save their marriage”.
But what does that really look like in practice?
How many times can you sacrifice money for kids before your kids suffer?
Would God rather you spend Sunday morning at hockey practice, for your kids physical health, or at church, for their spiritual help?
When does God trump one’s kids – only on Sundays, all the time, or never?
This kind of prioritizing can leave us feeling like every decision is a competition.
We asked some people on the street about their top two priorities in life – and heard about kids, money, health and more.
That’s what we’ll look at this week. But instead of a question, here’s your task – list off some important things in your life, and rank them. Think of things like Kids, Parents, Spouse, Friends, Job, Home, Savings, Paying Debt, God, Possessions, etc.
Prioritize them – rank them – you’re not allowed to give any ties. We’ll use this list in Thursday’s challenge.
If you’re not sure, look at your spending, or use of time through the week. It’s usually a good indication of your priorities in life.
