Last week, I told you story of my old neighbour who helped build a deck. He nicely represented the transition from strangers to neighbours to acquaintances to partners. Today we’ll go one step further. We’ll talk about becoming friends with those we work with, those we help, and those we live around.
When I was a volunteer paramedic, I remember one partner in particular. We did several shifts together, and on calls he was always nervous, and second-guessing himself, which could be challenging to work with. One day, he invited me to supper. I met his family, saw his home and farm, and in the process learned about him and his values. The next shift we had together was different. I found we could communicate better, and I could anticipate his moves. Debriefing the call afterwards was easier. I knew this quirks, where they came from, and could work from a place of partnership and friendship rather than tolerance.
This has wider application than the workplace, but some good examples of how important this is follow from a few studies:
50 percent of employees with a best friend at work reported that they feel a strong connection with their company, compared to just 10 percent of employees without a best friend at work. (A 2012 Gallup report which found that)
People planning to stick with their current job cited “good relationship with co-workers” as the major reason (67%) – above “job satisfaction” (63%), “flexible working arrangements” (57%) and even salary (which ranked seventh at 46%). A 2013 survey of 2,223 business people across Australia
In the same way, being a follower of Jesus isn’t just about doing transactions, like dealing with other followers of Jesus because you have to, or caring for others in need simply because it looks good.
We’re actually meant to become friends with those we care for, and those we care with. Not every single one to the same degree maybe, but we are actually meant to have a relationship with those we encounter in this life, and not simply use people or tolerate others.
We’ll focus this week on those we care for, those we’ve been talking about all along, and becoming friends.
Question: When have you unexpectedly “hit it off” with someone at work?
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Jesus talked about fasting, or intentionally denying ourselves for a greater good.
The Pharisees were advertising their supposed humility to the world.
So Jesus’ challenge is this:
“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:16-18 ESV)
Jesus wants his followers to fast for God alone. This is different from a hunger strike, like the one Theresa Spence engaged in. She put herself in the most conspicuous place possible – an island - and had staff dealing with her media relations. All about advertising her fasting, to make a political message.
Jesus doesn’t want his followers fasting to make a point, force change, or advertise their religiosity. He wants them to fast privately, for God.
If his followers can fast, and look and act ordinarily, God will see their humility, and no one else needs to know. And that was meant to be the point, right?
What about today – why would anyone fast? We see three reasons people fast in the Bible, same today:
1. Prayer – Particularly for making special decisions. To turn to God for direction, we turn away from something else that might try to direct us.
2. Self-discipline – Our bodies can cause us to sin, they are broken versions of what God created them to be. We want not just our wills to align with God’s will, but all of us, including our bodies.
3. Care for the Poor – I have a friend who intentionally lived on Ontario Works level of income. She decided to live more simply than necessary, to give that money to others, or in the case of fasting, food.
These are all reasons to fast for God: prayer, to be self-disciplined in avoiding sin, and to care for others.
These are great reasons for self-denial – all ways to turn away from sin in our world, and towards God.
John Stott: We have to become so conscious of God we cease to be self-conscious.
Question: What are you self-conscious about? When do you pay the most attention to what others will think?
