When people ask you how you’re doing – have you every included the word “busy” in your answer?
One NY Times article called “The Busy Trap” that went viral commented, “It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.””
Notice it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.
Yes, for most of us, busyness is a choice, and we kind of like it!
But what are its consequences?
One psychiatrist listed a few:
It is so easy with cellphones and BlackBerrys a touch away.
It is a kind of high.
It is a status symbol.
We’re afraid we’ll be left out if we slow down.
We avoid dealing with life’s really big issues — death, global warming, AIDS, terrorism — by running from task to task.
We do not know how not to be busy.
There are many, but we’ll focus today on the consequence for our neighbours, since Jesus said this was so important.
When I first moved to Ajax, it naturally took a little time to meet all our neighbours. Most memorably, two distinct families said the same thing when they met us. One said, “I’m really sorry we’re just meeting you, I had made cakepops for you guys, but then got too busy to bring them over.” Another said the same thing, “my wife was going to bake a pie to welcome you, but we got too busy.”
It’s heartbreaking – firstly because I could have had some excellent desserts, but also because it’s obvious how hectic our lifestyles can be, and how it inhibits forming lifegiving relationships.
Question: On a scale from 1 to 10 how busy is your life right now?
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Yesterday I asked you to complete a neighbourhood grid. How did it go?
This grid has been completed by people all over North America, and the creators report that about 10% of people can fill in every name on the grid. About 3% can write down one fact about each neighbour, and less than 1% can write something of depth about every neighbour.
Yes, Jesus says love your enemies, and we should work towards this. Unfortunately, we can’t start there very easily, since if we aim for everything, we usually hit nothing. Trying to be neighbours with everybody all at once often means we’re neighbours with nobody. We need to start somewhere.
In our culture, we often experience the opposite problem as Jesus’ original hearers. They lived in a tightknit community with strong traditions and bonds. Loving their similar neighbours came naturally, but loving enemies did not. Their definition needed broadening.
In contract, our culture can make this story too metaphorical and remote. We don’t regularly see wounded enemies laying on the road, and can tell ourselves, “if I do, I live in a country with universal health care so I can leave it to the profesionals.” For us, our definition of loving neighbour can start out too broad, and needs narrowing so we can learn to truly love, and not just write people off.
There are two ways we will start off easy. We’ll start with our actual neighbourhood or cubicle cluster. Secondly, if love sounds mushy or weird, we can just start with learning names, and then we can figure it out from there.
Challenge: For this week, work on learning all the names possible in your grid. If you don’t know them all, just go knock on their door and ask. You may find out they forgot your name, too!
Have you completed the neighbourhood grid yet? If not, click here: https://www.redeemthecommute.com/2013/09/11/strangerstoneighbours
