When people ask you how you’re doing – have you every included the word “busy” in your answer?
One NY Times article called “The Busy Trap” that went viral commented, “It’s become the default response when you ask anyone how they’re doing: “Busy!” “So busy.” “Crazy busy.””
Notice it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety, because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in its absence.
Yes, for most of us, busyness is a choice, and we kind of like it!
But what are its consequences?
One psychiatrist listed a few:
It is so easy with cellphones and BlackBerrys a touch away.
It is a kind of high.
It is a status symbol.
We’re afraid we’ll be left out if we slow down.
We avoid dealing with life’s really big issues — death, global warming, AIDS, terrorism — by running from task to task.
We do not know how not to be busy.
There are many, but we’ll focus today on the consequence for our neighbours, since Jesus said this was so important.
When I first moved to Ajax, it naturally took a little time to meet all our neighbours. Most memorably, two distinct families said the same thing when they met us. One said, “I’m really sorry we’re just meeting you, I had made cakepops for you guys, but then got too busy to bring them over.” Another said the same thing, “my wife was going to bake a pie to welcome you, but we got too busy.”
It’s heartbreaking – firstly because I could have had some excellent desserts, but also because it’s obvious how hectic our lifestyles can be, and how it inhibits forming lifegiving relationships.
Question: On a scale from 1 to 10 how busy is your life right now?
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Jesus says to love our neighbours, and includes enemies in his definition. In this week’s story Jesus confronted the reality that Samaritans and Jews were neighbours yet enemies, and said that his followers need to love and serve one another beyond such divisions.
Elsewhere, he says it quite clearly: love your enemy. Turn the other cheek. Go the extra mile. My favourite part is where he says, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.”
Loving your friends is nothing special, but loving your enemies is special indeed. It’s hard, it’s messy, it feels very risky, compromising and vulnerable. But when we avoid loving our neighbours and enemies, we live in isolation, fear of the unknown and misunderstandings.
One mayor told a church leader: “The majority of issues that our community is facing would be eliminated or drastically reduced if we could just figure out a way to become a community of great neighbours.”
It’s hard to know what to say, do, when life gets messy, and especially when our love isn’t returned. It’s easy to just give up and say Jesus’ command is too hard to follow.
But that can be explained simply enough. We haven’t got enough practice loving those closest to us, who aren’t our enemies, in order to be ready for loving our enemies. Loving our friendly, similar neighbours is good training for the big leagues.
So – start by just finding out – Who is my neighbour?
Download the attached Block Map. Click the Extra file, or link at end of video. You are in the middle of the grid, and think of the other squares in the grid as your neighbours across the street, beside and behind your home. Or if it’s more appropriate, think of it as your workplace, and the squares as neighbouring cubicles. Then write in each square:
- Their Name(s)
- One Fact About Them
- Something Deeper – A hope, dream, fear, challenge, etc.
Try and complete the grid as much as possible, and discuss with your group.
We meet for coffee every Wednesday night at Starbucks in the Chapters Store in Ajax, in Durham Region just East of Toronto. Maybe we'll see you there?
